Farewell, Office.

My birthday – my 35^th birthday! – is quickly approaching, and frankly I’m having a rough time with it. If I thought 30 was hard, 35 is harder.  Decade-wise, I’m halfway to 40! I’m starting to feel old, and our society tells us that to be old is to be inferior.  I could list a hundred things that would make me feel better, but they’d only be temporary. The feeling that lasts comes not from how I look or what I received, but from who I am and what I give.

In this world, there are givers, and there are takers. When “gift-giving occasions”  -Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day/Father’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries – come around, everyone always asks, “What did you get?” Rarely – if ever – does anyone ask, “What are you giving?”

Too often, we base our esteem on what we’ve received, not on what we’ve given. But by doing so, we allow others to dictate our value.  If we receive a “less-than-adequate” gift, that does not mean we are lesser than someone who has received a more extravagant gift. Yet, we allow ourselves to feel inferior based on that alone.

This birthday and from henceforth, I chose to be a giver – even when it would be easier to be a taker – even when it feels like everyone is taking and no one is giving. It matters not what others do; I am responsible and held accountable for what I choose. And if I can bear another’s burden or ease their load by giving, I will do so – no matter what the cost. It is by this standard that I will be judged – “What have you given?” never “What have you taken?”

In honor (yes, I said it!) of my 35^th birthday, 35 things I can (and will) give (in no particular order):

1. A listening ear: Rather than simply asking a polite, “How are you?” in passing, stop and listen. Look them in the eye, when they say, “Good.” Do their eyes tell the same story?
2. An open door: Hold the door for the person behind me even when they are more than one person behind. Bonus points for doing it in the rain.
3. A cup of coffee: Splurge on a cup from Starbucks and pay for the person behind me in the drive-thru line.
4. A break: Give a friend the afternoon off. Take her children out for ice cream and then home for a playdate.
5. Exercise: Spend an hour throwing the retriever dummy with my dog.
6. Encouragement: Write an honest note to a friend detailing their current successes and future potential.
7. A kind word: Stop a gossip-fest by injecting a compliment about the victim.
8. The benefit of the doubt: When I’m tempted to think the worst of someone, assume the best instead.
9. Love: Give love even when it’s not returned.  Those are often the people who need it the most.
10. Time: Plan a night for bonfires, smores, and telescope viewing with William.
11. Freedom: Make Whitman’s “I am sufficient as I am” my motto.
12. Good food.: Make dinner for friends – something truly spectacular, the kind that keeps me in the kitchen ALL day.
13. A good laugh: Play a game – Just Dance or pool – and laugh with others as they laugh at my lack of skill.
14. Another chance: Rather than give up on someone who’s disappointed me, forgive freely.
15. Flowers: Sneak into another teacher’s room and leave an anonymous bouquet.
16. A smile: Smile to everyone – no matter what I may be feeling – and make it genuine.
17. A free meal: Buy a gift card and leave it for the next person on the park bench.
18. Good luck: Leave a good luck penny in someone’s path.
19. A greener planet: Recycle consistently – water bottles, plastic bags, paper.
20. Safety: Set up my phone to go through my car’s audio system. Only talk hands-free and never text while driving. (All the more reason to buy an iPhone 4S!)
21. Touch: Tell people, “You are not alone” with a hug.
22. Peace of mind: Cook dinner for a friend in need and quit letting the fear of “It won’t be good enough” stop me.
23. Truth: To myself and to others.
24. Hope: Show others what can be, not what is.
25. Help: Spend the weekend outside cutting grass, weeding flower bed and weed-eating.
26. Patience: Don’t give up on the student who needs help for the 100^th time.
27. An extra minute: Let the person behind me go before me in line – at the intersection or the grocery store, it doesn’t matter.
28. A sweet treat: Bring a dessert to the teacher’s lounge.
29. Appreciation: Tell others how important they are to me.
30. Joy: Make someone’s day by giving them what they wouldn’t give themselves.
31. A hand: Volunteer to help with a project. Volunteer – that means without being asked.
32. Empathy: Rather than become angry at someone who has hurt me, consider their situation and realize that it probably isn’t about me.
33. Faith: Be God’s example by never giving up on someone who has given up on themselves.
34. Security: Climb into William’s bed when he’s had a bad dream and sing away the fear.
35. Confidence: Speak truth, but only that which builds others up, never that which tears others down.

I challenge you to write your own list. It drowns out the voice in your head that keeps saying, “I’m not young enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not perfect enough.” Instead you hear the voice of Aibileen saying, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Maybe if you hear it enough, you’ll believe it.

Linking Up With: Between Naps on the Porch, Make it Great Monday, The Girl Creative, C.R.A.F.T, Keeping it Simple, Sew Can Do, Mad in Crafts, Sew Chatty, Making the World Cuter, Confessions of a Stay at Home Mommy, Today’s Creative Blog, Not JUST a Housewife, Coastal Charm, Tip Junkie, Sugar Bee Crafts, Creative Itch, Hope Studios, The Thrifty Home, Sew Much Ado, Domestically Speaking, Ginger Snap Crafts, Momma Hen’s Coop, Someday Crafts, Blue Cricket Design, Trendy Treehouse, Beyond the Picket Fence, Organize and Decorate Everything, Nothing But Country, Lemon Tree Creations, Train to Crazy, Frugalicious Me, Mine for the Making, House of Hepworths, Fireflies and Jellybeans, Somewhat Simple, Not So Simple Housewife, Shabby Creek Cottage, Delightful Order, Kreative Korner, Chic on a Shoestring Decorating, Lovely Crafty Home, The Shabby Nest, My Romantic Home, Finding Fabulous, Fun to Craft, Home is Where My Story Begins, Fingerprints on the Fridge, Remodelaholic, Thirty Handmade Days, Cookie Nut Creations, Tatertots and Jello, Crafy Envy, Funky Junk Interiors, Lolly Jane, Show and Tell Saturday, Candace Creations, Crayon Freckles, Measured by the Heart, Passionately Artistic, Project Possessed, I Heart Nap Time, Frugally Sustainable, Rae Gun Ramblings, Mom’s Crazy Cooking.