Mar
03

7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker

 

If you want to go from “Population One” to Population Two+,

read:

The cliche says that book “changed my life.” I disagree. You are the only one – through conscious decisions – who can change your life, but a book can surely change your thinking. 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess did just that.

The lowdown:

I finished this book eight days after I began it, and if you knew how busy those eight days were, you’d understand what an accomplishment that was. (Truly, I don’t think I can remember ever having such an upside and backwards week.) But I could NOT put this book down! I somehow found the time to devour entire chapters in a single sitting. More amazingly, I am beginning my second reading. Now, I understand that for those of you who don’t know about me and books, you won’t understand how profound this is. I almost NEVER reread books, not even my favorites. I may reread Pillars of the Earth fifteen years from now, but generally I don’t because I read to know what will happen and once I know part of the joy of reading is gone and because I always have a long list of books-to-be-read I do not have time to spend rereading books. Yet, I MUST reread 7 – first, because I was so enraptured in the reading I forgot that my Kindle can highlight and type notes. I marked hardly any and there are jewels I want to absorb, and secondly, because if I want this book to change my actions and not just my thinking, I need it’s ideas to truly become a part of me. I need the abstract ideas to translate into concrete steps.

As I mentioned in a post last week, our monthly income will be increasing soon and although I have seen the ugly marks of “greed, excess, materialism, consumerism, envy, pride, comfort, insatiability, irresponsibility” in my own life, our small income and tight budget have keep them in check (well, at least the manifestations of them). I was truly sick with worry that once our income increased our budget would, too (and all the ugliness would be revealed). I love people, and I want my life to be a reflection of that. I don’t want my legacy to be an empty life filled with all the ugliness listed above. Hatmaker’s 7 could not have come at a better time.

Hatmaker’s Seven Categories of Excess & My Initial Response:

Food – Like Hatmaker, I LOVE it, and while I balance whole foods with refined, these decisions are not conscious ones. Rather they are dictated by whim and appetite.

Clothes – I have more – way more than I need - and this excess has diverted resources from areas where they would do more good.

Possessions – Ditto, but sadly my impulsive spending has resulted in excessive possessions in some categories and a shortage of possessions in others. Too many washclothes, not enough socks.

Media – I tune in to media but frankly, it disconnects me more than it connects me.

Spending - Read “Clothes” and “Possessions.” Add to that all of the spending that has no concrete product at the month’s end…Starbucks, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. (And no, I’m not counting my waistline as a tangible product.)

Waste – The token attempts I’ve made at being greener are simply pathetic. Again, I’ve done them for the sake of doing them, not becasue I fully understand the purpose and value of preserving and conserving.

Stress – I’m a wife, mother, daughter, friend, high school teacher. Yes, I’m stressed. All the time. This is the reason I run.

Clearly I have a lot of work to do, and this is the shake-up my apathetic, complacent and mindless existence needed.

If you want to be convicted, inspired, and motivated to lead a more meanigful life, read this book.

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Feb
28

People Will Talk. Let Them.

Thirty-five years have taught me that adults are the same as teenagers, only older.

People will talk about you, about your mom, about your kids.

I am always amused by the amount of energy people waste getting upset over this.

Expect it. Then, it won’t be a surprise.

Any time, criticism about you and yours makes it back to you, ask yourself two questions:

1. Ask yourself whether the person criticizing you matters.

While all people are important and valuable, all people’s opinions of me and my family are not. One of my favorite quotes from The Reader by Bernhard Schlink illustrates this point: You don’t have the power to upset me. You don’t matter enough to upset me. If criticism comes from someone who hardly knows me, then I know that their opinion is probably not reliable, and, therefore, of little interest and consquence to me. Why should I care what they think? Now, if it should come from someone I care about and from someone who I know genuinely cares about me, then I will be open to evaluating what they have to say. This person has likely formed an opinion based upon many observations; they have seen me on good days and on bad days, and any criticism is likely to be constructive and intended to help me become a better person. Otherwise, I’m probably not wasting an ounce of energy getting upset over what you have to say.

2. Ask yourself if there is any validity to what is being said.

Sometimes, strangers or acquaintances can make valid observations, and you should not discount what may be said simply because they “don’t know you.”

For example, while chaperoning a fieldtrip, I may overhear two mothers question my son’s lunch, “Does his mother always pack him chips and chocolate cookies with his Sprite? Hmph, it’s mothers like her who have contributed to thisepidemic of childhood obesity and diabetes that is taxing our health insurance companies.” Before getting upset, I should ask myself whether this is a valid criticism. Is the chips, cookies, Sprite combination a rarity or a regulary occurence? Do I usually pack a well-rounded lunch that will keep him full throughout the afternoon without causing sugar spikes and crashes? If the answer is no, then I need to change what I am doing and be grateful that a comment prompted this reevaluation. If the answer is yes, then I need to excuse the gossip, knowing that they are forming their opinion on one lunch. If they are wrong, why should it upset me? Their assessment and criticism do not make me a good or a bad mother; my words and actions determine what type of mother I am.

People will talk. Let them.

Listen to what they are saying with an open-mind. Is it coming from somone who cares? Is it a valid criticism?

If it is, change what needs to be changed.

If it isn’t, don’t let it upset you. It doesn’t change who you are. If you are doing what you feel is right and best for you and your family, then you do not need anyone else to validate you.

Linking Up: Keeping It Simple, Not Just a Housewife, Tuesday Confessional, Frugally Sustainable

 

 

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Feb
26

What Do You Do With More Money?

 

Our monthly family income is about to increase, and it relieves me, excites me, and terrifies me.

There are some things we have been needing to do that will now be possible. Relieved.

There are some things that we have been wanting to do that will now be possible. Excited.

However, most of our needs – but not all of our wants – are met on our current income, and I do not want to waste the extra money we have been given by confusing wants with needs. Terrified.

My Temptation:
I love boutiques. Boutiques can make your home look like a decorator magazine; they can cover your children and all of their possessions in appliqués and monograms; and they can ensure you will not arrive anywhere wearing the same thing as someone else. To avoid buying up the entire store, I avoid going altogether – even when my friends text me pictures of things they think would look wonderful on me or be perfect for my house. There will be a great temptation now to step into one, but I hope my determination is greater than the allure.

To shore ourselves against wasteful spending, my husband and I sat down and allocated all of the new money to avoid wondering where all of it had gone at the end of the month. To look around and see nothing of lasting value to show for all of our hard work is my greatest fear. Our clothing and entertainment budget categories were firmly in check and quite adequate on our old income; I did not want to see them rise exponentially simply because we “have the money.” Some of the new money was specifically allocated to needs and wants, but a good portion of the money was allocated to savings – and this meant that it wouldn’t be wasted – but it still didn’t feel right. I firmly believe that we have been blessed and it wasn’t simply so that we could grow our savings.

All last week I was bothered by this; I couldn’t get it out of my mind, but I didn’t know what to do.

Enter Friday. I read a recommendation for 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess and immediately downloaded it on my Kindle. In 3 days, I have only managed to read 3 chapters, but I am certain that this is one book I will reread many times. Jen Hatmaker gives a global perspective for our food, clothes and possessions (the 3 excesses covered in the first 3 chapters). After reading the chapters on clothes and possessions, I began a sweep of my closet. Unlike Hatmaker, I didn’t count; I’d have been horrified. It is clear that I have more than enough; to spend any more money in this area would be wasteful. I am not swearing off of spending in this category forever; my black heels will need to be replaced eventually, but for now, what I have is sufficient. Actually it’s more than enough. When I think of all I spent, I am disgusted. I am content, and don’t feel the need to buy a patent pair for the days I don’t feel like wearing my crocodile-embossed pair. In order to avoid buying things I don’t need, I know that I must avoid the temptation. I’ve stopped the emails and Facebook updates from my favorite stores; I tossed out catalogs; and I will limit my shopping in store. (As if to challenge me, as I was stopping my email subscription to Loft, I opened their most recent email and saw an advertisement for the loveliest and most versatile dress! Dresses are my weakness; they make me swoon. I hurriedly deleted it before I could justify buying it.)

Enter Saturday. In December, we packed a shoebox for Samaritan’s Purses’s Operation Christmas Child, and this weekend, we received the update. I sat down and read the testimonies from cover to cover and was convicted. A simple box changes the lives of a child, their family and entire villages, and in all our abundance, all we could manage to package was one?! We should be giving dozens. While some of our extra money is being allocated to wants and savings, a good portion of it needs to be marked for giving.

Part of me was actually dreading the extra money. We do not need all of it, and the risk of wasting the surplus was great. After this weekend, I am encouraged, hopeful and excited. We will now be able to achieve some of our family goals, build our savings, and bless others. I truly thank God for this gift, and pray that we are good stewards.

*A full review of 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess forthcoming.

 

Linking Up: Keeping It Simple, Not Just a Housewife, Tuesday Confessional, Frugally Sustainable

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Feb
25

Free Kindle E-Books: February 25, 2012

*If you do not own a Kindle, you can still read e-books formatted for Kindle by downloading any of the free Kindle apps.

Children

4 Fantastic Bedtime Stories for Children 3-6!

Scott Gordon

5 out of 5 stars

Is it Nice? Manners for Kids

Casey Chapman

4 out of 5 stars

Little Buggies

Cindy Bracken

5 out of 5 stars

Who’s in the Snow?

Kari Brimhall

5 out of 5 stars

Cookbook

How to Make? Devonshire Tea with Scones, Strawberry Jam and Clotted Cream (Authentic English Recipes)

Geoff Wells

5 out of 5 stars

Fiction

Rebekah Redeemed

Diane Sagan

Safe at Home

Richard Doster

4 1/2 out of  5 stars

Nonfiction

Extraordinary Patriots of the United States of America

Nancy Robinson Masters

5 out of 5 stars

A Killing in Iowa

Rachel Corbett

4 out of 5 stars

I Must Decrease: Biblical Inspiration and Encouragement for Dieters

Janice Thompson

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

 Threads of Honor

Gordon Ryan

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Late Sooner

Sally Jadlow

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Your Brain and Business

Srinivasan Pillay

4 out of 5 stars

Romance

Saving Katya

Sandra Edwards

4 out of 5 stars

Thriller

Every Able Body

David Reichart

4 out of 5 stars

Friends on Fire

Dale Whisman

5 out of 5 stars

Never Smile at Strangers

Jennifer Minar-Jaynes

4 1/2 out of 5 stars

*As with any offer, please check the price before purchasing to ensure that it is still a free download. Many of these are only offered free of charge for a short period of time.

If you have a Goodreads account, you can also connect with me there for more book updates.

Happy Reading!

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Feb
24

Friday in Words: Take Action

Seven hours until my weekend begins! It’s been a short week – we had 3 days off for the Mardi Gras holidays – but I am ready to be off again for 2 days. There are a few lingering house projects that I started over the break, but weren’t able to finish. They will be my goal for this weekend. Be inspired to get off the couch and tackle whatever need tackling!

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